Lullaby
by HoneyBee HoneySuckle
Summary: Jim is pining. Spock is seemingly oblivious. Bones is exasperated with them both. Scotty just wants to know where the hell all his scotch went. Things are chaotic enough on the Enterprise; whose bright idea was it to add a baby to the mix?
1. Chapter 1

"_Men are curious creatures, and often act with more wisdom than we give them credit for."_

- L. Frank Baum, _Juggerjook_

There was something to be said for Jim Kirk's ability to make one stupid and dangerous decision after another.

Driving your deceased father's antique car off a cliff so your stepfather (henceforth known as the Holy Terror) couldn't sell it? Stupid and dangerous.

Sleeping with your ex-girlfriend even though you know she's a complete psychopath? Stupid and dangerous, regardless of the fact that you were not completely sober at the time.

Calling a man who could squash your head between his thighs like a sparrow's egg 'Cupcake'? Suicidal. Though admittedly that incident was the reason that he met Pike, which led to him enrolling in Starfleet, so hey, all's well that ends well!

Developing feelings for your half-Vulcan First Officer who previously stranded you on a frozen wasteland of a planet and later attempted to strangle you? Not technically a decision, but it was still an incredibly stupid move on Jim's part, one that he had tried time and time again to undo, but every time, every single time that he thought he might be getting over it, he'd see Spock standing there next to him, looking every bit the strong and stoic Vulcan he aimed to be and Jim would find himself falling all over again for no other reason than the fact that Spock was… What? What was it that he found so irresistible about the half-Vulcan? Jim's attraction to his First Officer wasn't just a physical one, though admittedly that was part of it, because Spock was certainly handsome (in a kind of sharp, Vulcan-y way), not to mention rather muscular underneath that blue shirt, which Jim had been rather amazed to find out after the 'Alien-Bugs-Eating-The-Landing-Crew's-Clothes Incident" (yes, it was exactly like it sounded). It certainly wasn't Spock's personality that made him turn into a stuttering, blushing mess. The guy was as cold as Delta Vega on a _good _day! No, much to his chagrin, Jim had no freaking idea what specific aspect of Spock had made him feel this way, and it drove him absolutely insane.

It also drove Bones insane, though not for the same reasons. It drove Bones insane because this infatuation had turned the already moronic Captain into an insufferable lovesick preteen girl, and guess who got to listen to Jim drone on and on about how much he hated that he was crazy about the half-Vulcan?

On a related note, Scotty did _not_ in fact have an endless supply of scotch hidden on the ship. At least, not that Bones was able to find.

So to recap, Jim was a pining teenage girl, Spock seemed to be utterly oblivious to Jim's longings, Bones was exasperated with them both, and Scotty just wanted to know where the hell all his scotch had disappeared to.

Admittedly, it looks like the summary for a cheesy romantic comedy.

And this is before the baby.

* * *

It wasn't his fault.

Jim had made plenty a stupid decision in the past. In fact, his memoirs would probably be titled _What the $#% Were You Thinking?!: A Series of Undisputedly Terrible Decisions I Have Made. _The section on his teenaged life would be a doorstopper all on its own, never mind the section on his young adulthood.

However, this was Most Definitely Not Jim's Fault.

Yes, he had decided to defend the cat-people from the ape-people who were invading their planet.

Yes, he had been the one to lead the landing team into battle against the ape-people (who were apparently allergic to grape juice).

Yes, he had turned his back on one of them.

However, he _hadn't _asked Spock to push him out of the way of the ape-man's phaser by tackling him, even if his brain (and um… certain _other _body parts) had rejoiced at the half-Vulcan landing on top of him.

Therefore, it was Not His Fault that they had landed on the crystal thing, and this whole situation was the product of _Spock's _bad decision-making.

Speaking of Spock, she had his eyes.

The baby was a tiny thing of just two months, with soft, pale pink skin and thin wisps of blond hair on the top of her head. Jim traced the tip of one of her pointed ears gently, trying to comprehend this situation, trying to grasp the fact that, yes, this was his daughter, his own flesh-and-blood baby girl, and he was now responsible for making sure she didn't grow up to be a miserable fuck up like him.

Jim hadn't thought seriously about being a parent in a long time. Oh, the thought had crossed his mind a few times over the years, but he hadn't ever seriously considered it. In fact, the last time he'd thought seriously about fatherhood was when he was seventeen and his then-girlfriend had confessed that she might be pregnant. The five minutes that it took for the pregnancy test to calibrate had been the longest, most terrifying five of his life, and all he could do was think about his father, who had been dead for pretty much Jim's entire life, and the Holy Terror, who he couldn't even call a douchebag because that would be an insult to douchebags everywhere. He thought about how much his own parents had screwed him over, how fucked up he was, and how fucked up his kid could be if he screwed up. Looking back on it, Jim was surprised he didn't have a panic attack when What's-Her-Name came back with the results.

He couldn't help but be relieved when he heard her say "Not Pregnant". Of course, his relief immediately turned to despair when she promptly dumped him and kicked him out of her house, which had lead to a week long sob-fest over how he'd never love again (ironic, as he couldn't even remember her name now), and Sam had to be some sort of saint because if the roles were reversed, Jim probably wouldn't have hesitated to smother Sam with a pillow just to stop the dramatics.

The baby let out a soft whine, and Jim was pulled back into the present. "Uh… h-hey, now, it's alright!" He tried, hoping to keep her from crying. Unfortunately, it only seemed to make things worse, as she began to cry softly.

_Shit! _"Crap, uh… _hush little baby, don't say a word, Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird…" _The soft cries turned into a high pitched howl, filling the otherwise silent medical bay and making the lights flicker in response. Bones practically sprinted back into the sickbay, glaring at Jim. "Good _lord, _man! What did you _do_?!" Bones shouted over the screaming as his took the baby from Jim and began comforting her gently.

"I don't know! She started crying, so I tried singing to her, but-!"

"Wait," Bones interrupted, "that was _singing_? I thought someone was torturing a cat!"

Jim opened his mouth in anger, about to tell his CMO exactly where he could stick it, but then remembered that he was trying to be a better parent than the Holy Terror and settled for just glaring menacingly at him. "Y-Yeah, well… shut up." He replied lamely.

He could hear Chapel snicker, and Bones grinned despite himself, shifting the little girl (who had since stopped crying) around in his arms. "I'm very sorry you had to go through that, little miss. Hopefully it won't happen again."

The glare intensified. "Remind me why I haven't fired you yet?"

"I know all your secrets, remember?" Bones replied smugly.

Damn he was good.

Jim might've made a snarky comment, perhaps something about how he knew a few of Bones' secrets as well, and maybe mention how Scotty's booze kept getting stolen, but just then the doors hissed open and Spock walked through, effectively ending the conversation, because quite frankly Jim was perfectly fine with Spock not knowing the stupid, embarrassing truth at this point, especially now.

"Captain, Admiral Pike has requested your presence on the bridge."

"O-Oh, uh, sure. Thank you, Spock." Before leaving, Jim turned to Bones, narrowing his eyes and pointing at him. "This conversation is not over, ya hear?" Jim declared, walking backwards out of the sick bay before turning into the hallway.

Bones rolled his eyes, and then walked over to Spock. "Here," he said as he held out the little girl for the other man to take, "hold your kid while I get back to the tests, would ya?"

Warily, Spock took the child and adjusted her a bit in his arms, then looked back at Bones as if to say 'What the fuck I am supposed to _do _with this?'

Bones rolled his eyes once more, and then patted the new father's shoulder in sympathy. "You'll figure it out." With that, he turned and went back into the room he had been before, leaving Spock alone with his daughter.

* * *

Admittedly, his actions during the incident on Nargara IV eleven months ago had made very little sense.

Yes, the Captain had been in danger.

Yes, as First Officer, it was his duty to keep the Captain from perishing.

Yes, it had been rather foolish of the Captain to turn his back on one of the ape-men.

However, the situation had not warranted Spock tackling the Captain so that he wouldn't be killed by the ape-man's phaser. A better solution would have been to have shot the would-be assassin in the face.

But that hadn't happened. No, Spock had let his emotions get the better of him and gone with instinct rather than logic, as he seemed to do so often when it came to the Captain.

It was… _frustrating_, this effect that Kirk had on him. He had never known such emotions before, not even with Nyota (which is more than likely what had caused her to terminate their relationship several months earlier), and that had been fine with him. He was a Vulcan, and Vulcans did not need such frivolities.

He knew what love was, of course. He had loved his mother, despite not conveying it often enough. He had loved his sehlat, I-Chaya. He had even loved Nyota on some level, though perhaps not in the same way that she had loved him.

What he felt for his Captain, however, was so very unlike any sort of love he had felt before. The love he had for James Kirk was an intense, all-consuming sort of feeling, a maddening emotion that befuddled and enraged him like nothing else ever had. It was shameful, uncontrollable, and so undeniably _human_ in itself, and he hated it, just _loathed _how illogical it all was.

Spock couldn't stand how Kirk made him feel, and sometimes he wondered why he didn't hate Kirk for making him feel that way.

But then Kirk… no, then _Jim _would look at him with those startlingly blue eyes that seemed to always have that mischievous little twinkle, and Spock would know why he didn't hate Jim, because despite how much he loathed the things he felt whenever he was with the man, the simple truth was that he loved the man himself infinitely more.

It was that contradictory love that had made Spock tackle Jim, and was why he now held this little child in his arms.

The girl looked up at him, her big brown eyes drooping slightly, and then completely closed as she let out a yawn, after which she smacked her lips together and snuggled closer to Spock's chest in an attempt to gain warmth. Spock smiled despite himself, moving his hand to better support the girl's head.

_Curioussleepyconfusedafraidtrust_

Spock pulled his hand back, startled by the sudden barrage of emotions. It was overwhelming, how much she could feel at such a young age. The tiny child shifted again, staring up at him with a comically baffled expression.

"Sorry." He replied before he could stop himself, moving his hand back to its previous position with caution.

_Curiouscuriouser_

_Curious and curiouser… where have I heard that before?_

"…_Suddenly, she came upon a little three legged table. She found a little bottle with the words DRINK ME printed on it. Alice ventured to taste it, and, finding the taste to be very nice, downed the rest of the bottle."_

"_Mother, I do not believe that Alice is very clever."_

_Amanda looked up, forcing a smile as her son interrupted the story yet again. "Spock, sweetie, if you keep interrupting me like this we'll never finish the book."_

"_But Mother, she is being very irrational."_

"_Baby, you've said that about everything in this book so far."_

"_That is because it _is _irrational. Alice's actions make no logical sense. Why would she follow the talking rabbit down the hole if she doesn't know if it is safe?"_

"_Well, she was bored, and the rabbit was interesting. Don't you ever get bored when you're meditating with Daddy?"_

_Spock gave her an indignant look. "Father says that boredom should not be an influence on my actions."_

"_Well, your father is an old fuddy-duddy, then."_

_Spock's mouth dropped open, and Amanda burst out laughing at how scandalized he looked. "Oh, don't act like you've never thought it!"_

Spock smiled a bit at the memory. Although he'd denied it, secretly he had loved it whenever his mother had read _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland _to him as a child. There was something so whimsical about the girl's adventures, something that made him long to find a white rabbit of his own to chase down a rabbit hole to a strange new land.

Before he could get lost in his thoughts, the doors hissed open once more. "Oh, good, you're still here." Kirk said as he walked into the medical bay.

"Why would I have left, exactly?" Spock asked, but Kirk didn't seem to hear him and instead kept talking.

"So, the Admiral has given me the okay for keeping the baby here. You know, once he stopped laughing long enough to talk."

"Hmm," Spock murmured, not paying much attention to the captain as the little girl in his arms wrapped a tiny hand around one of his fingers. For some reason, listening to Kirk's explanation seemed decidedly less important than spending time with his daughter.

Kirk stared at his first officer, taken aback by the unusual lack of interest from Spock, who usually paid full attention when someone was talking to him. Today, however, this obviously wasn't the case. Today, he seemed to be fully focused on the baby.

It… was actually kind of adorable.

Kirk clapped his hands, taking a step towards his first officer and his daughter. "So! Speaking of the baby, she needs a name. Do you have any-?"

"Alice."

Kirk blinked, startled by the blunt statement. "P-Pardon?"

Spock looked up, one eyebrow raised. "You asked if there was a name that I wished to give to her. I was merely giving a suggestion."

"O-Okay, but, uh…"

The eyebrow arched higher. "Do you not like the name?"

"N-No, I like Alice, it's a perfectly fine name! I just…" _I just kind of thought he'd say Amanda._

"You just what, Captain?"

"… Nevermind."

The eyebrow remained arched, but Spock said nothing, and the room was filled with an awkward silence that seemed to drag on for hours, with Spock's attention back on the baby (Alice, Spock reminded himself) and Kirk unsure of what to say.

After another moment, the door opened again, letting a woman who worked in the science department in.

"Commander Spock? I'm afraid we're having an issue down in the labs… again."

Out of the corner of his eye, Kirk could've sworn that he saw Spock roll his eyes.

Spock stood, walking over to Kirk. "I see. Captain, could you…?"

"Hm? O-Oh, uh, sure." Kirk replied as he took Alice out of his first officer's arms. "Uh, hey, so, we're agreed on that her name is Alice, right?"

"Yes, Captain." As soon as he was sure that the baby was safely in Kirk's arms, Spock started to walk towards the door.

"Alice Amanda Kirk," he heard the other man murmur. "What a pretty name."

If Spock were to say that his breath did not hitch in his throat at that, he would be lying.

* * *

_Too much._

_Too much was happening all at once, and it was driving Jim crazy, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to care. He was far too busy enjoying the lips that were pressing kisses down his neck and chest and the fingers gently tugging at his hair and wait why was there a hand near his panohHHHKay, that definitely worked for Jim. "Jesus!" He heard himself gasp._

_Suddenly, he found himself staring into a pair of familiar brown eyes that shone darkly with an unfamiliar lust. "Naming the prophet of an old religion, Jim? Most illogical."_

_Jim moaned as those long fingers slipped into his pants, wrapped around his length and started pumping it gently. "Spock," he panted, too delirious from the pleasure to be embarrassed, "Spock, _please!"

"_Patience, Jim." Wait, was Spock mocking- where the fuck did his pants go- _

_Oh._

"_Oh dear god," Jim moaned once more as his fingers clutched at dark hair. Spock hummed in response, swirling his tongue around the tip. Jim could already feel the familiar heat pooling in his stomach, and he tried to be disappointed that it was happening so fast but found it very hard to do so with Spock's talented tongue licking up and down his shaft. "Spock… Spock, shit, I… SpockSpockSpock fu-uck!"_

Jim woke with a gasp, clutching at his sheets as his orgasm tore through him. His chest heaved for a moment as he recovered. Then he looked down at the wet spot near his crotch and let out a string of curses. _Not again... These were new sheets, dammit!_

Then he questioned why he was naked.

_Oh, right. I passed out after taking a shower. Who knew that babies could be so exhausting?_

Jim groaned, casting off the sheets and heading toward his bathroom, his legs still a bit unsteady from the powerful release.

It had been bad enough when he had just had a simple crush on his first officer. Yeah, the cheesy romantic things he'd find himself imagining doing with Spock were embarrassing, but at least back then he wasn't in a constant state of _sexual frustration. _Personally, he blamed that whole 'Alien-bugs-eating-the-landing-crew's-clothes' incident, though admittedly his dirty mind also had something to do with it. There were a lot of things that he could have focused on in this situation, like Chekhov wearing only Sulu's shirt, for example; to summarize, the med-bay had run out of those horrid hospital gowns due to the alien flu outbreak only a week earlier (upon curing it, Bones had claimed that he was starting to think he could cure a rainy day. Jim had responded by asking how the hell that would help them in the middle of outer space), and so Sulu had given Chekhov his shirt so he didn't have to run around naked.

On a related note, Sulu had a tattoo of a butterfly jumping through a flaming hoop on his back, and when Jim had asked about it the only answer he got was "Budapest."

It was actually kind of funny, now that Jim thought about it.

But no. Instead of that humorous little incident, Jim's brain had to focus on Spock.

Spock's shoulders.

Spock's surprisingly well-defined abs.

Spock's long legs.

That tiny trail of dark hair that started just below Spock's navel and lead down to his- GODDAMMIT NO!

He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. After grabbing a towel and cleaning himself off, Jim pulled a random pair of boxers and a t-shirt out of his dresser, putting them on right as he fell back into bed, pulling the comforter (but not the sheets, because _ew_) over his body as he settled in to go back to sleep.

A shrill cry came from the bedside monitor, making Jim groan.

"Whyyyyy…" He mumbled, getting out of bed once more and stumbling around in the dark to find his bathrobe.

"Freakin' babies and their lack of timing…" Jim muttered darkly as he trudged down the hallway to the room that had been designated as the nursery.

"... Why is the captain storming down the hall in a bathrobe?" He heard someone ask behind him.

"Logan, I've been on this ship for three months, and if I've learned anything, it's that you shouldn't question anything the captain does."

Jim paused, turning towards the pair with his eyebrow raised. The two quickly made themselves look busy, and Jim sighed and shook his head as he approached the door to Alice's room.

He was rather shocked to find that he had been beat to comforting Alice.

The shrill wailing Kirk had heard only a moment ago was long gone by now; a few hiccups and the occasional tiny cry was all that remained of Alice's sobbing. Spock bounced her up and down gently, patting her back lightly as he hummed an unfamiliar lullaby.

It was so sweet, so uncharacteristically kind of Spock, and suddenly Jim found himself filled with an intense longing; he found himself wanting to wrap his arms around Spock, to just stand there with him, to just _enjoy _the strangely beautiful creature that was Spock.

He... He needed some air.

Spock didn't seem to notice the door sliding shut, something that Jim was intensely grateful for as he slid down the wall, running his hand threw his hair as his eyes widened in realization.

This... This _thing _he had for Spock... It wasn't just a crush, or some sort of insanely misplaced lust.

There was no denying it now: James Tiberius Kirk was in love with his first officer.

He was completely screwed.

**A/N: First of all: This thing took a lot longer than expected, and originally the porn was going to come a lot later. **

**I had planned to finish before the new movie came out, but then I got stuck, so I saw Star Trek Into Darkness (which was AWESOME, by the way), and I was just like "WELP". **

**So! This is the reboot of my old Star Trek fanfic, **_**How Did THAT Happen? **_**If you are a new reader, you do NOT need to read that to understand what's going on; the plot of this one will be pretty different from that story.**

**If you **_**did **_**read the last one, you'll find quite a few changes, starting with the baby's name. I've decided to change it because I plan on making her a completely different person than the previous kid.**

**And with that, the intro is done! From here on out, be aware of spoilers for Star Trek: Into Darkness!**

**Remember to review~!**


	2. Darkness Rising

**A/N: I apologize for how long it's been since the last update. I blame Tumblr. Specifically, I blame Tumblr for introducing me to **_**Dude, That's My Ghost!**_

**And, even more specifically, I blame Tumblr for introducing me to ectofeature.**

**(Into Darkness spoilers start here!)**

_One Month Later…_

"Ok, thanks Michelle!" Jim called out to the babysitter as he closed the door to his apartment. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he turned towards his daughter's playpen.

"Alice, let me give you some advice: If you ever work with your father- your other father, not me- and have to choose between following the rules and saving his sorry ass, choose following the rules." He sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. "Because if you choose to save him, he _will _tell your superiors how you chose to go against orders, and you _will _get fired."

Alice cooed in response, then attempted to fit her entire fist in her mouth.

"... Of course, that's assuming that you even join Starfleet, and let's face it, even if you do," He grunted as he lifted her out of the pen. "By that time, Spock and I will be a pair of wrinkly old farts."

Alice giggled and grabbed onto Jin's nose, sticking one of her chubby fingers up his nostril. Jim recoiled with a groan, pulling her hand away from his face.

"Alice, I'm trying to give you advice, the least you could do is not dig for gold."

She giggled again, and Jim sighed. "And now I realize that I'm giving life advice to a person who is far too young to really appreciate it." He grinned and pressed a light kiss to the top of her head. "But I love you too much to really care."

The doorbell rang. "Oh, wonderful, that must be the traitorous Vulcan who calls himself your father here to pick you up." The former captain mumbled as he shifted Alice to one arm and grabbed her diaper bag with the other.

"Okay, ears, here's the-" Jim blinked in surprise, then blanched. "Okay. You are _definitely _not my former First Officer."

"James Tiberius Kirk, what have you done?"

Jim smiled nervously. "Hi Mom."

* * *

When Spock rang his former Captain's doorbell, he had expected to have Alice handed to him and have the door slammed in his face. He realized that Jim was more than likely angry with him due to the report, though _why _was something he didn't quite understand; he had only been doing his duty as First Officer, after all.

He had not expected to be invited in for tea by Jim's mother, though perhaps 'forced' was a more appropriate choice of words in this situation.

"It's nice to finally meet the famous Mr. Spock."

"Famous, Mrs. Kirk?"

The older woman smiled softly at him as she placed the tea on the coffee table. "Call me Winona, honey. After all, we're practically family now!"

Spock nearly choked on his tea, coughing wildly for a moment while Winona gave him a concerned look. "Are you alright, Spock?"

The half-Vulcan swallowed hard, regaining his composure. "I-I am well, ma'am, I simply," He swallowed again. "Family, Mrs. Kirk?" _Is she under the impression that Jim and I are romantically linked in some form?_

"Winona. And, yes, family! You're Alice's father too, you know!"

Oh. "Ah, yes, Alice. Of course."

Winona smiled at him. "You know, when I came out here, I expected to find Jimmy either drunk or with some girl. Possibly both." She snorted. "I'll probably do that soon enough, but the last thing I expected to find was him holding a baby."

Spock blinked. "Mrs. Kirk-"

"Winona."

"Winona, why did you come to see Jim if you were unaware of Alice's existence?"

"Because Christopher Pike called me and told me that my son had gotten himself in trouble." She replied. "I had expected to stop getting those calls once he got out of high school, but Jimmy's twenty-six now and here I am."

A shrill cry came from the bedroom, signalling that Alice had finished napping. Winona started to get up, but Spock gestured for her to remain seated, heading towards the room himself.

"Hello, little one," Spock greeted as he lifted his daughter out of her crib. Alice cooed happily in response, pressing the palm of one of her hands to his cheek as soon as she was close enough. Spock couldn't help but smile a bit when he felt how happy she was to see him.

_It is good to see you as well, little one._

When Spock returned to the living room and sat back down, Winona smiled at him, looking rather melancholy.

"Mrs. Ki- Winona?"

She jumped a bit. "Sorry, I just... sometimes I feel like I missed out on being a mom. After George died, I..." She smiled sadly. "Well, I probably wasn't there as often as I should have been. It... he and his brother, Sam..." She sighed. "I couldn't handle how much they looked like their father. A-And I know that doesn't make it okay, but... I don't know. Sammy just got married, and now Jim's a father, and... my boys are all grown up, and they don't need me anymore, and..." She took a shaky breath. "Sometimes I wonder if they ever did."

Spock said nothing for a moment as she sobbed quietly. "Winona, while I do not speak for the Cap- Jim personally, and I have never met his brother, I do not believe that it is entirely correct to assume that he has never needed you, nor is it to assume he no longer needs you. In our time together, Jim has never spoken of you with anything but fondness, if with some regret at not spending much time with you."

Winona sighed sadly. "That's nice to know, Spock, but that doesn't mean he-"

"You did not let me finish. While Jim was my Captain, he told me that he had wished his mother had been around more often, had been there when he needed her. He said that he still did need her, but he worried that it was too late."

Winona gaped at him, then clenched her jaw shut, unable to speak.

"I apologize if I have overstepped my boundaries, but from what Jim has told me, it seems to me that he _does, _in fact, need you."

"... Thank you, Spock." She said, giving him a smile that was laced with a mixture of melancholy and happiness.

Spock simply nodded at her in response. His comm beeped noisily a second later, alerting him to the fact that he had received a message.

"What is it?" Winona asked as Spock pulled out the item.

"I am being summoned to Headquarters for an emergency meeting on the recent attack at the base in London." Spock replied, more than a slight hint of bemusement evident in his voice. He looked up at the older woman. "Winona, I apologize if I am imposing on you, but-"

The older woman waved him off. "It's fine, honey. I should get used to taking care of her, anyway; after all, she's going to be my full-time responsibility soon."

Spock frowned as she took Alice from him. "Pardon?"

"She'll be staying with me while you two go on your missions. Jimmy didn't tell you?"

"I was unaware that Jim would be going on any missions."

Winona grinned at him conspiratorially. "Jim doesn't know either. Christopher told me that he'd gotten Jim a position as First Officer of the Enterprise under his Captaincy when he called me earlier."

"Oh." Spock couldn't help the pang of disappointment that he felt. He had realized that he and Jim would more than likely would not ever work together again, but he had hoped...

Well, it didn't really matter what he had hoped now, did it?

Spock thanked Winona for her help, heading towards the door.

"You really care about my son, don't you?" Winona called after him.

Spock didn't answer, but she could see the tips of his ears turn green.

* * *

Jim couldn't help but grimace when Spock stepped into the elevator with him. Great, just when he thought his day couldn't get any crappier, he got stuck in an enclosed space with the absolute _last _person he wanted to see.

Neither he nor Spock spoke for a moment.

"Where's Alice?" Jim asked after a moment.

"She is with your mother."

The blonde cursed internally. "So, you met my mother, then." It's not a question, but a statement of fact.

"Yes. You and her are very alike."

Jim scoffed. "How are we alike in _any _sort of fashion?"

"You both care very deeply for your children." Spock replied matter of factly.

Jim didn't say anything for a moment after that. He was unsure of what he _should _say to that, in all honesty.

"Is something troubling you, Jim?"

The blonde turned away, trying to ignore the way his heart fluttered when Spock referred to him by his first name. "Oh, nothing. My best friend just got me fired after I saved his sorry ass, that's all."

"I do not understand; how did Dr. McCoy contribute to your Captaincy being terminated?"

Jim groaned and leaned his head back against the wall of the elevator. "Oh my goooood." He moaned in frustration as the doors opened. "You seriously don't fucking get it, do you?!" He stated angrily as he stormed out of the elevator, Spock following closely behind him.

"I may be able to understand if you would simply explain your reasoning to me!" Spock called after him, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice.

"Okay, here's how I see it, then!" Jim shouted, turning on his heel and glaring at his former First Officer. People were staring, but he was honestly too pissed to care. "I saved your fucking life, and you got me _fired_ for it because it went against the rules! See why I'm angry yet, ears?!"

"No, I do not see why! You know as well as I that we were not to let the Nibirians see us, something that you allowed to occur when you came back for me after I specifically told you not to!"

Jim spluttered angrily, then sighed in frustration. "God, you are such a- agh!"

"I see no reason for you to be angry about losing your Captaincy, in any case. You are going to be First Officer of the Enterprise under Admiral Pike, correct?"

Jim looked up at him, surprised. "How the fuck did you know about that?"

"Your mother informed me. She was informed by Admiral Pike when he called to inform her of your termination as Captain."

"Of course he did." Jim muttered before looking Spock straight in the eye. "And what about you? What're you gonna do?"

"I am being transferred to the USS Bradbury, where I will serve as First Officer under Captain Frank Abbott."

"O-Oh." Jim swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. Of course Spock was being transferred. The Enterprise didn't really need more than one First Officer after all.

"Is everything alright, Jim?"

"Nothing, it's just..." _It's just that I love you, you stupid, oblivious, wonderful man! "_I guess I'm just gonna miss you, Spock."

Spock opened his mouth like he was about to reply, but instead simply stared at Jim with the most bewildered expression he had ever seen on the half-Vulcan for a long time, finally closing his mouth after a while.

Jim simply rolled his eyes in exasperation and defeat, walking into the meeting room with a loud scoff.

* * *

Winona had only seen her younger son cry a few times before. The first time, of course, was the day he was born. The second was when he was ten, the day she came home to find Frank beating her son to a bloody pulp. She had absolutely no regrets about decking Frank and kicking him out for good. The third time was when his first love (whose name escapes her) dumped him.

This was the fourth time she'd seen Jim cry.

"Jimmy? Jimmy, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Her son pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her as he rested his chin on top of her head. She wondered how he got so tall, then returned to wondering what was wrong.

"Pike's dead, Mom."

Winona's eyes widened. "What? What happened?"

"That... That bastard that blew up the base in London, he... It was an ambush, he tricked us... I should've known better, I should've-!"

Winona hushed her son lightly, bringing him over to the couch. "Oh, honey, don't blame yourself, there was no way you could've known!"

Jim shuddered, sobs racking his body. "I just can't believe he's gone."

A pang of sadness went through Winona as she was reminded of the unbearable pain she felt after losing George. Her grip tightened on Jim's shirt. "I know, sweetie," she managed before swallowing tightly. "I know."

* * *

"Are you _sure _you have everything you need?"

Jim rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that morning. "Mom, we're going to capture a crazed psychopath, not heading off to summer camp."

"See, you seem to think that helps, but it really, really doesn't."

Jim grinned at her, then leaned over and took Alice from her. "Okay, Al, here's the deal: your father, Auntie Nyota, Uncle Bones, Uncle Hikaru, Uncle Pavel, Uncle Scotty and I all have to go catch a crazy guy who blew up part of London and also killed a lot of high-ranking Starfleet personnel, including your Uncle Christopher. Your job is to stay here on Earth with your Gramma while we do that. Do you accept your mission?"

Alice giggled happily.

"I am taking that as a yes."

"Captain, you do realize that you are giving orders to a three-month-old, correct?" Spock dead panned as he approached them.

"Of course I do. Here, we have to go soon, so say goodbye to our baby," Jim replied coolly as he handed the baby to his First Officer, who obliged him immediately. The tiny child giggled again, placing a meaty hand on his cheek.

"I will return home soon, little one," he promised solemnly, brushing a wayward strand of blonde hair out of her eyes.

Jim's heart melted a little at the scene, then frowned when he saw his mother's knowing smirk.

"What?"

"You've got it _bad, _Jimmy."

He flushed red. "MOM!" He protested.

Winona threw her hands up, palms splayed out defensively. "What? I'm just saying!"

Jim groaned, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment. "Please, Mom, not in front of the Vulcan."

Winona rolled her eyes, but obliged her son, taking her granddaughter from Spock. "You two had better get going."

Jim nodded in agreement. "Alright. Love you." He said as he leaned in to kiss his mother on the cheek. "And I love you," he repeated as he pecked his daughter on the cheek.

"We love you too. Bye."

The blonde grinned, turning and walking away. However, right before he could walk onto the transport, his mother called out to him again.

"Oh, wait, Jimbo!"

Jim cringed at the old nickname. "Yeah, Mom?"

"Be safe! Don't kill anyone unless you have to!"

"Okay, Mom!"

"And remember to do your laundry!"

"I got it, Mom!" Jim replied, beginning to get more than a little agitated.

"And don't eat pink things! You know how sick you get when you do!"

"MA! I'm not a little kid anymore!"

"I love you, sweetie!"

Jim rolled his eyes, but smiled. "I love you too, Mom!"

She waved at him, then raised Alice's arm so that she could wave too. Jim waved back, smiling in relief as he finally stepped into the transport, sitting down in the nearest seat with a heavy sigh.

"Jimbo?" Bones asked with a smug grin.

"Shut up, Bones."

The doctor chuckled before beginning to scan Jim's vitals, Spock sitting down wordlessly by the seat near the window as he did.

"Excuse me, but are you Captain Kirk?"

The blonde man looked up, smiling at the pretty blonde science officer that had appeared in front of him. Her voice was soft and light, with just a hint of a British accent. "The one and only. How may I help you?"

She smiled at him. "I'm Doctor Carol Wallace. I've just been assigned as your new Science Officer."

"Oh, really? How interest- Bones, get that _thing _out of my _face."_

"Captain, if I may interject, I would like to point out that the Enterprise already _has _a Science Officer, which just so happens to be myself." Spock stated, trying to keep his voice level.

"Of course, Mr... Um..."

"Spock."

"Of course, Mr. Spock, but Admiral Marcus has assigned me to the Enterprise for a specific reason: I am a weapons expert."

"A weapons expert? What the hell do we need one of _those _for?" Bones asked suspiciously as he injected a hypo into Jim's neck, ignoring his cry of pain.

"I'm glad you asked, Dr... Bones, was it?"

"It's McCoy, sweetheart. This one," he stated, pointing to Jim, "Just insists on calling me Bones."

"Well, I'm glad you asked, Dr. McCoy." Without asking Spock or Kirk, she sat down in the seat between them. "You see..." She paused. "Oh, where are my manners?" She turned to Spock. "Is it alright if I sit here, Mr. Spock?"

Spock opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, Jim scoffed, interrupting him.

"Oh, yeah, it's fine. Right Spock?"

He wanted to say no, that it _wasn't _in fact fine, and that she should get her tiny blonde butt away from _his _Jim before he crushed her windpipe with his bare hands, slowly, painfully, torturing her until her last, pitiful breath.

But he couldn't do that, because that would imply that he was jealous, an emotion that showed more weakness than any other.

And also because Uhura would verbally tear him apart if he did.

So instead, he simply clenched his fists tightly behind his armrest. "That is acceptable," He replied, his voice level.

Carol smiled at him before turning back to the Captain, telling him about some odd torpedoes that had been found near where Harrison had been.

For a brief moment, Spock looked over at McCoy, the knowing expression on his face nearly identical to the one that he had seen on Winona's face moments before.

Something told him that this was going to be a _very _long mission.

**A/N: They're both so oblivious, aren't they?**

**Remember to Review~!**


	3. Khan

**A/N: Continued spoiler warning for Into Darkness!**

"I'm not signing anything! Now get these bloody things off my ship- Cap'n! A word, please!"

Jim turned to his chief engineer, smiling. "Sure, Scotty, what can I do you for?"

Scotty pointed at one of the Section 31 personnel that was scurrying around Engineering. "Ya can tell these bozos to either let me examine these torpedoes and tell me what they're runnin' on, or ye can tell 'em to take their bloody weapons and shove off!"

Jim blinked in surprise. "What's wrong with the torpedoes?"

"Well, putting aside the fact that last I checked this ship was for exploring the depths of space and not bloody _warmongering, _I don't know what they're made of! How do I know that they won't go kablooey when I fire up the warp core? I don't know about you, but I'm none too keen on the idea of Engineering exploding!"

Jim sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Scotty, I'm fairly sure that the torpedoes won't 'go kablooey'. Now just sign the papers and let them put the things up. We need to get going soon."

Scotty gave him an indignant look. "No."

"No?" Jim repeated, shocked.

"No. I'm not gonna let them put the things up. I've got a bad feeling about this, Jim, and so long as I'm in charge of Engineering, these _weapons _are not going anywhere _near _the engine." And with that, he left the area.

Jim grit his teeth in anger, following him. "Scotty, sign that paper right now. That's not a request."

"And I'm refusing your request on the grounds that it's bloody fucking nuts!" He gestured at the Warp Core behind him. "Captain, what is this?"

"It's a Warp Core, Scotty, you know that."

"No, y'see, it's not_ just_ a Warp Core. It's an accident waiting to happen! _One_ wrong move, _one_ part outta line, and we all die a fiery death!"

"Scotty, we have orders from Admiral Marcus-"

"To what?! Get ourselves killed?!"

"Montgomery Scott, I am your Captain, and I am giving you a direct order to sign those papers."

Scotty gave him a hard look before stepping back. "Not anymore, you're not. I respectfully resign."

"Scotty, come on, don't-" He tried, but Scotty held his hand up.

"Kirk, I signed up to be an explorer, not a _soldier. _You've made many a request of me before, but this one..." He shook his head. "D'you accept my resignation or not?"

Jim hesitated, then nodded. "I do."

Scotty sighed, then took a step towards Jim. "Jim. For the love of _God, _man, don't use those torpedoes."

With that, he started to walk away. Jim stared after him sadly before he felt a tugging on his pant leg. He looked down to see Keenser, who handed him his own PADD before following Scotty out.

Jim looked down at the two PADD's in his hands and sighed. "Great."

* * *

He was still fuming when Uhura joined him in the elevator.

"I take it things didn't go so well down in Engineering?"

"Well, Scotty quit, so... No."

"What happened?"

"He decided to run off and marry Keenser. There were mysterious weapons on board, what the hell do you _think _happened?" He snapped at her.

She recoiled, giving him an offended look. "Okay, geez! Sorry I asked."

Jim sighed, leaning his head back. "Sorry, I shouldn't of... I'm not really angry at you, or even Scotty for that matter. It's... well, more than anything else, it's Spock, he just..." He groaned. "Sometimes I just want to... rip the bangs off his head."

"I know what you mean, he's pretty... _obtuse _sometimes. Whenever we used to fight-"

"Wait, you guys used to fight?" Jim asked incredulously.

"I don't want to-"

"Oh my god, what is that even like? Is it any different from fighting with him when you're _not _going out, or-"

Before Uhura could respond, the elevator doors opened, revealing a rather bemused looking Spock. Uhura grinned sheepishly at him before going to her post without a single word.

"Ears burning?" Jim quipped as he passed by.

Spock looked at him in confusion, but said nothing.

Jim, meanwhile, clapped a hand on Chekhov's shoulder. "Chekhov, you've been shadowing Scotty, right?"

"Yes, Keptin."

"Good. Go put on a redshirt, you're Chief Engineer now."

A faint murmur erupted in the bridge, and upon turning to Sulu Jim received a death glare worthy of Uhura. Chekhov looked at Kirk like he'd just ordered him to take his phaser and shoot himself between the eyes, but he swallowed hard and obliged his Captain, leaving the bridge.

After calling a random bridge member to take Chekhov's place, Kirk sat down in the Captain's chair, clutching the armrests as they went into warp.

"Channel open, sir."

"Attention, crew of the Enterprise. As most of you know, Christopher Pike, former Captain of this ship, and our friend, is dead. The man who killed him has fled our system, and is hiding on the Klingon homeworld, somewhere he believes we are unwilling to go. We are on our way there now. Per Admiral Marcus, it is essential that our presence go undetected. Tensions between the Federation and the Klingon Empire have been high. Any provocation could lead to an all-out war."

Kirk hesitated, looking back at Spock briefly before turning back to face forward in his chair. "I will personally lead a landing party to an abandoned city on the surface of Kronos, where we will capture the fugitive, John Harrison, and return him to Earth so that he can face judgment for his actions." He took a deep breath. Alright, let's go get this son of a bitch. Kirk out."

* * *

"We will arrive at Harrison's location in three minutes, Captain. It is unlikely that he will come willingly."

"Good thing you don't care about dying, then." Jim muttered.

Both Uhura and Spock glanced over at him.

"I apologize, Captain, but I'm afraid I could not hear what you-"

"I didn't say anything."

He could practically _hear _Uhura roll her eyes.

"Captain, I am fairly sure that I-"

"I didn't say anything, Spock, now just shut up and keep your eye on the screen."

"No. I wish to hear what you have to say."

"Guys..." Uhura started.

"If you wish to discuss this matter in private-"

"No, I don't want to discuss this matter in private! I don't want to discuss it at all!"

"Guys, are you really gonna do this _now? _I don't know if you've noticed, but we're kind of about to try and capture the guy who blew up part of London!"

"Uhura, just give us a minute, I have to get this _idiot _to drop the subject-!"

"You are resorting to name-calling because you know that I am right."

"Fine! You're right, I _do _have something I wanna say to you! At that volcano, did you even think about what would happen if you died? Did you ever stop to think about how this would affect everyone else? You can't be so willing to sacrifice yourself anymore, Spock! You have to think about Alice!" His grip on the counter in front of him tightened. "I grew up without my father, Spock. I know what it's like to never know one of your parents, and I _refuse _to let Alice know it too! _That's _why I went against orders to save you. I can't..." He swallowed hard. "I can't do this on my own, okay? But... you don't care about that, do you? You didn't feel anything back at that volcano! You didn't care!"

"Your suggestion that I do not care about dying is incorrect. A sentient being's optimal chance of maximizing their utility is a long and prosperous life."

"Yeah, not exactly a love song, Spock!"

"You misunderstand. It is true I chose not to feel anything upon realizing that my own life was ending. As Admiral Pike was dying I joined with his consciousness and experienced what he felt at the moment of his passing. Anger. Confusion. Loneliness. Fear. I had experienced those feelings before, multiplied exponentially on the day my planet was destroyed. Such a feeling is something I choose never to experience again. Captain, you mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring. Well, I assure you, the truth is exactly the opposite."

Jim said nothing, but allowed himself a small smile. Uhura rolled her eyes again, but she smiled too.

_God he's got it bad._

A sudden shot made the ship shudder, and there was no more time to talk.

* * *

Kirk rubbed his forehead tiredly as he watched John Harrison be lead away, a million thoughts racing through his mind as he leaned on Spock's shoulder absently.

"I think I have more questions now than when we started."

"As do I, but I believe that they can wait until after we rest and gather our thoughts."

"Yeah, I could really use a shower." He took a step back, turned, and sniffed Spock experimentally, wrinkling his nose in disgust and pulling his face away. "So could you. You _reek!"_

_"_You do not exactly smell extremely pleasant either, Captain."

Jim laughed, then looked at Spock, smiling.

"So, you and me, we're cool, then?"

"I do not see what temperature has to do with anything."

Jim rolled his eyes good naturedly, then grabbed Spock's hand, gripping it firmly as he shook it.

"I forgive you, you idiot." He said as he released Spock's hand with a grin, turning and heading for his quarters.

Spock's eyes were wide with shock as he watched the Captain walk away, glancing at his hand once he was gone. He could feel his face heat up, swallowing uncomfortably as he put his hand down, staring blankly at the space where the Captain had been less than a moment ago.

He... Surely the Captain did not know what that meant for Vulcans.

Did he?

* * *

Jim had learned three things from his chat with John Harrison: first, the guy was kind of a prick. Well, he kind of already _knew _that Harrison was a prick; he _was_ a mass murderer/ bomber, after all. The second thing he learned was a set of coordinates, which he sent to a rather irate (not to mention drunk out of his mind; seriously, how was he supposed to be offended by _James Tiberius Perfect Hair?) _Scotty back on earth. Finally, he learned that those torpedoes were _definitely _bad news.

Which was why he sent his best friend and the apparent daughter of Admiral Marcus down to a foreign planet to pop one open and see what was inside.

Yeah. That plan sounded a lot better in his head, and it turned out to be just as bad when put into practice, considering that it nearly got Bones blown to bits.

Of course, if it hadn't, then they might never have discovered the three hundred year old man in the cryotube hidden in the torpedo.

"Why is there a man in the torpedo?" Jim demanded the second that he arrived at Harrison's cell.

The man looked up at him, not speaking for a moment, instead simply studying his captor like a hungry predator studying it's unsuspecting prey. "There are men and women in all of the torpedoes, Captain. I'm the one that put them there."

Jim glanced at Spock for a brief moment before turning back to the prisoner, glaring at him from the safety of the other side of the glass. "Who the hell are you?"

The man didn't speak for a moment. "A remnant of a time long passed," he answered simply, staring into space. "Genetically engineered to be superior so as to lead others to peace in a time of war. We were condemned as criminals, forced into exile. For centuries, we slept, hoping when we awoke, things would be... different." He looked at Spock, his expression unreadable. "But as a result of the destruction of Vulcan, your Starfleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants of space. My ship was found adrift. I alone was revived."

"I looked up John Harrison. Until a year ago, he didn't exist-"

"John Harrison was a _fiction, _a ruse created by your Admiral Marcus the moment I was awakened to further advance his cause," The prisoner's voice rose in volume as he stood. "A smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name is _Khan."_

That name made something deep inside Jim stir unsettlingly the moment he heard it. It made his throat go tight, his heart drop, his stomach turn. It sounded so familiar, yet he was sure that, until now, he'd never heard it before.

He pushed it to the back of his mind, though, and continued to speak to the prisoner. "Why would a Starfleet Admiral ask a three hundred year old frozen man for help?"

"Because I am better." Khan answered, his eyes icy cold and calculating.

"At what?"

"Everything," He replied, as if it was so obvious that Jim had to be an idiot not to see it. "Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time, and for that, he needed a warrior's mind. _My _mind. He needed me to design weapons, and warships."

"Are you suggesting that the admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect?" Spock inquired with more than a hint of incredulousness.

"He wanted to exploit my _savagery!" _Khan hissed angrily as he turned to Spock. "Intellect alone is _useless _in a fight, Mr. Spock. You? You can't even break a simple _rule, _how can you be expected to break _bones?"_

Spock didn't seem to react to Khan's jeering, whereas Jim had to clench his fist and bite his lower lip in order to keep from telling the man off, or worse, attempt to beat him to a bloody pulp again.

"Admiral Marcus designed weaponry to help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet. He sent you to use those weapons, to fire _my _torpedoes on an unsuspecting planet." The man smiled in a condescending yet pitying manner. "And then he purposely crippled your ship in enemy space, leading to one inevitable outcome. The Klingons would come searching for whomever was responsible, and you would have no chance of escape. Marcus would finally have the war he always talked about, the one he always wanted."

Jim stared for barely a second, then shook his head. "No," he said hurriedly as he walked towards Spock, "No. I watched you _open fire _in a room full of _unarmed _Starfleet officers. You _killed _them in cold blood!"

"Marcus took my _crew _from me!" Khan roared, turning away.

"You are a _murderer!"_

"He _used _my friends to control me!" He paused. "I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the torpedos, but I..." Jim heard the man swallow hard. "I was discovered... I had no choice but to escape without them. And when I did, I had _every _reason to believe that Marcus had killed _every single one _of the people I hold most dear..." He paused again. "So I responded in kind." He turned back to him, and Jim was shocked to see that Khan was crying. "My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there _anything_ you wouldn't do for _your _family?"

A parade of faces flashed through Jim's mind. Alice. His mother. Sammy. Bones. Uhura. Chekov. Sulu. Scotty.

Spock.

Jim swallowed hard, not taking his eyes off of Khan for even a second. Suddenly, an alarm went off, piercing the heavy silence.

"Proximity alert, Captain. There's a ship at warp, heading right for us!" Sulu warned through the communicator.

"Klingons?"

"At warp? No, Kirk. We both know who it is." Khan replied, looking extremely pleased with the situation.

"I don't think so. It's not coming at us from Kronos."

He stared for a moment. "Lieutenant, move Ha- move _Khan _to the med-bay, keep six officers on him!"

* * *

_Everything hurt._

_Jim tried to breathe, but found he couldn't. Whenever he died, a burning sensation filled his lungs. His vision started to blur, and his legs felt agonizingly weak as he slowly slid to the ground._

_He was dying, he realized._

"_Spock." A choked voice said shakily, sounding far away._

_When he looked up, he was shock to see someone who looked just like him, only older, and with hazel eyes rather than blue._

"_Captain... Jim..." That... that was Spock's voice. _

_Spock's voice had just come out of his mouth._

"_Spock, please, just hang on!" The other man, the other Jim pleaded._

_Spock-Jim slowly lifted his hand, pressing it to the glass and parting his fingers in a Vulcan salute. The other Jim looked at it for barely a second before pressing his own hand to the glass over Spock-Jim's, mirroring his movements._

"_I have been... and shall always be... your _friend. _Live long... and pros... per..."_

_The world started to fade to black, and Jim was faintly aware of his other self whispering no, then screaming a name._

"_KHAN!"_

Jim was startled awake, gasping for air. His cheeks felt wet, and Jim realized that he was crying.

He remembered now.

He knew where he had heard the name Khan before.

He'd seen it when the old Spock had shared his mind with him.

In the other timeline, the one that the elder Spock came from...

Spock had _died _because of Khan.

Jim sat up in bed, wiping at his eyes and breathing hard. His chest ached because of how fast his heart was beating, his throat was tight, and his eyes burned with tears.

James Kirk was completely and totally terrified, more terrified than he could ever remembering being.

He pulled his legs up, leaning his face into them.

The other Kirk had lost his Spock to Khan, even if it was evidently only for a little while.

He couldn't let that happen.

No matter how great the cost, he would do everything in his power to keep Spock alive.

**A/N: Sooo... guess who got Star Trek: Into Darkness when she was nearly halfway through writing this?**

**(It's me.)**

**Remember to Review~!**


	4. Darkest Before the Dawn

**A/N: Continued spoiler warning for Into Darkness!**

They were alive.

As the systems came back online, Spock allowed himself to sigh in relief.

Somehow, they'd managed to reboot the ship to full power, just barely able to keep the Enterprise from crashing into the Earth.

"It's a miracle," one of the lieutenants stated incredulously.

"There are no such things," Spock replied as his restraints retreated into the Captain's chair.

Suddenly, his communicator beeped.

"Engineering to bridge. Mr. Spock!"

"Mr. Scott."

"Sir, you'd... you'd better get down here. Better hurry."

Spock's heart dropped, and he bolted out of the chair, rushing out of the bridge without even thinking to give anyone the conn. He passed Uhura, but didn't say anything to her.

All he could think about was Jim.

What had Jim done?

He arrived at the Warp Core shortly, breathing heavily, his heart pounding in his chest.

Scotty said nothing at first, simply stared at him sadly for a moment before shaking his head and looking down. Spock looked over to his left, walking briskly over to the entrance to the core.

His heart seemed to stop when he saw Jim lying there, barely alive.

He turned to Scotty. "Open it."

"The decontamination process is not complete," Scotty informed him, his voice filled with sorrow. "You'd flood the whole compartment. The door's locked, sir."

He turned back to Jim, staring for a moment before kneeling down to where Jim was struggling to sit up.

"How's our ship?" Jim managed to whisper once the door on the other side of the glass was closed.

"Out of danger." Spock struggled for a moment, trying to find something to say to him that was appropriate for the moment. "You saved the crew."

"You used what he wanted against him." Jim half-mumbled in response. Spock could see that he was trying to smile. "That's... a nice move..."

"... It is what you would have done." Spock replied, trying to hold back tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

"And this..." Jim mumbled, not looking at him. "This is what you would have done... was only logical..."

Jim started to shake, his blue eyes clouding with tears. "I'm... I'm _scared, _Spock. Help me not be."

Spock couldn't bear to look in his eyes anymore.

"How do you choose... not to feel?"

"I..." The words felt odd on his tongue, felt wrong. "I do not know." Tears finally started to slip out of his eyes. "Right now, I am failing."

Jim looked at him, clearly trying to to smile again. "I want you to know... why I couldn't let you die... why I went back for you."

"Because of Alice. You told me this already-" Spock tried.

"No, Spock, there's... there's something else, I..." He trailed off, in too much pain to continue.

"Because... because you are my _friend_." Spock said, realizing for the first time the weight of that statement.

Jim stared at him, looking like he wanted to say something else, but he seemed unable to. He pressed his hand up against the glass, his arm trembling. Gently, Spock mirrored the gesture, watching as Jim's finger's parted in a manner similar to the Vulcan salute.

The other man smiled up at him for just a brief moment more, before turning his eyes away and allowing his hand to slip away.

James Tiberius Kirk was no more.

Spock's eyes moved to stare at the ground, his mind attempting uselessly to comprehend everything, to make sense of it all.

Grief overwhelmed him.

Losing his planet, his mother, even the pain he felt when melding with Pike upon his passing?

That sorrow was nothing compared to the despair he was drowning in right at that moment.

James Tiberius Kirk was dead.

His Captain, his friend, the other parent of his daughter, the man he inexplicably loved so frustratingly dearly, was no more.

He heard Uhura gasp, but he didn't look.

Without warning, his sorrow turned to rage; it became anger that made his blood run hot, his hands shake, his teeth clench.

"KHAN!"

* * *

It was warm.

Like, weirdly warm. The sort of warm he remembered experiencing only once, when his mother took Sammy and him to Hawaii for an impromptu vacation.

Slowly, Jim opened his eyes, blinking at the harsh sunlight.

"Ah, good, you're awake." A man's voice said. It was deep, a little gravelly, and utterly familiar, though Jim couldn't tell where he had heard it before.

"We've been wondering when you'd get up." Another man said, his voice a little lighter.

Jim groaned, rubbing his forehead gingerly as he sat up. "The fuck did I do last night...?" He muttered before looking up.

When he saw his company, he jumped.

"Holy shit!"

Both men smiled at him. The man on his right was younger by far, dressed in an old Starfleet uniform.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Jim." The younger of the two men said, offering Jim his hand.

"... D... Dad?" Jim managed to whisper.

"You know, when someone offers you a hand, the polite thing to do is accept their help." The older man commented.

Jim turned to him. "And just who are you? My grandpa or something?"

The man's hazel eyes twinkled as he laughed. "Afraid not. He's around here somewhere, though."

Jim's eyes narrowed. "Then just who the hell are you?"

"I suppose that the simplest way to put is... I'm you."

Jim's mouth dropped open, his eyes wide as a million questions raced through his mind. After a moment, he said the thing he thought was best.

"Bullshit."

* * *

It was silent in the waiting room.

Winona sat quietly in her chair, staring off into space. Spock couldn't bring himself to look at her, and instead tended to Alice, who was fast asleep in his arms.

Dr. McCoy had warned that the process of bringing Jim back from the dead would take a long time, even with Khan's blood running through his veins.

Still, it had been three hours. Spock was starting to get anxious, and on any other day, he would've denied it, but today...

Today, it was too true to deny.

The doors to the waiting room burst open, and a man came running inside.

"I got here as fast as I could. How is he, have you heard anything?" He inquired breathlessly as he made his way over to Winona.

"We haven't heard anything since they got started, and... aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon? In another solar system?"

"Yeah, well, warp capabilities, and Aurelan is on her way up now, she's probably apologizing to that janitor I ran into on the way up."

"I apologize for interrupting, but who exactly are you?" Spock queried, turning in his seat.

The man looked up at him, his expression morphing into one of utter confusion. "I could ask you the same question."

Winona sighed. "Oh, where are my manners? Sammy, this is Mr. Spock, Jim's First Officer. Spock, this is my older son, Sam."

"Hey."

"Hello." Alice stirred in his arms, crying out softly.

"Why does he have a baby?" Sam asked as Spock turned to the tiny girl.

"Oh, that's Alice. She's Jim's daughter."

"Of course she is." Sam said with a sigh, seeming completely unsurprised at this. "Wait, why is _he _holding her?"

"Because she's his daughter too, duh."

"... You mean biologically, don't you?"

"Again, duh."

"I don't wanna know, do I?"

"Getting tired of saying duh, honey."

Sam sighed, sitting down in the chair next to Winona's heavily. "It's concerning how not surprised I am about that."

* * *

"So... you're the me from the older Spock's timeline?"

The other man smiled. "Yes. How is he, by the way?"

"Uh, fine. Last I heard, he was helping in the rebuilding efforts on New Vulcan."

Something in the old man's hazel eyes seemed to soften when he heard that. "Good, good." He turned away, walking towards a lake that Jim could've sworn wasn't there before. Jim's father looked over at his son, smiling as he followed the older man. As Jim started to follow them, though, a horrifying realization dawned on him.

"Wait... if you two are here, then... fuck, am I dead?"

He heard the older Jim laugh. "Not exactly. It's more like you're in a coma."

"You were dead for a little while, though," His father added, "If it wasn't for that pointy-eared friend of yours, you'd be stuck here with us."

"You're lucky that they got that madman's blood to you in time." Another voice added. Jim looked over to see a younger man, younger than him, smiling at him.

"Ah, David. I was wondering where you went."

The blonde boy smiled at him. "I was just helping Bones out. You know how he is about those frogs in his garden."

"Bones? _Gardening?" _Jim asked incredulously.

"He took it up when he got here." His father answered. "Jim and I fish. David... what do you do, David?"

"I study the growth of certain plants in specific conditions."

"Right, you garden."

David frowned. "It's a little more complicated than that. I'm currently working on a-"

"David, I'm sure it's fascinating, but please. Jim just woke up, give him a moment to gather his thoughts."

Jim, meanwhile, was trying to comprehend all of this. "So, let me get this straight. I'm in some kind of afterlife type deal, and you're all dead, but I'm not?"

"Yes."

"And Spock somehow saved my life by giving me a transfusion from Khan?"

"Technically Bones did the transfusing, but yes."

"... Well, damn. If this isn't the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me, then I don't know _what _is."

* * *

"So what's up with you and my brother?"

Spock hesitated for a moment. "He is my Captain, as well as my friend."

"Dude, I don't know if you're aware of this, but 'friends' don't usually have kids together."

In the back of his mind, Spock fiercely hoped that he wasn't blushing. "I... The incident of Alice's conception is-"

The other man recoiled. "Man, I don't want to hear about you and my brother having sex!"

"The Captain and I have never engaged in intercourse!" Spock exclaimed hurriedly, fully aware of the fact that he was blushing furiously. "Our relationship is purely platonic; the manner in which we came to have a child who is both mine and Jim's biological daughter is entirely asexual. It was, for lack of a better word, an accident, a simple lapse in judgement on my part."

Sam studied him for a moment. "So... you two _aren't_ together, then?"

"If by 'together' you are implying that the Captain and I are romantically linked, then no. We are not together."

"... Bullshit."

Spock blinked in bemusement. "Pardon?"

"I said bullshit. I've seen how you looked at him when we were in that hospital room; you're obviously crazy about Jimmy."

"You... You are mistaken," Spock replied shakily, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat. "I... I do not-"

Sam held up his hands, stopping him. "Look, Spock, I've known my brother for his entire life. I'd say I know the guy pretty well, and whenever he mentioned you, well... I've only seen him look like that a few times before, and each time he was in love."

Spock's heart stopped, then started to beat rapidly.

"So I think it's fair to say that he's crazy about you, too."

"I... He..." Spock stumbled over his words, swallowing yet again. "What?" He finally asked dumbly.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'm no good at this mushy stuff, so I'll just say it: My brother is in love with you."

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Jim looked over at his father, more than a little shocked. "For what?"

"For dying. For not seeing you grow up."

"Dad, you saved _eight hundred _lives, including mine."

"True. But I lost out on my chance to be your Dad, and I'd rather have done that than be a hero."

Jim smiled sadly. "I would've like to have you around, too."

Suddenly, Jim felt light-headed.

"Jimmy?" He felt his father put his hand on his shoulder.

"Looks like it's time." He heard the older Jim say distantly. His vision was blurred, and black was starting to creep in.

"What's going on?"

"You're waking up."

"What? No. No, I don't want..."

"Jimmy." His father said. "Jimmy, it's okay. I'll see you again, alright?"

"Dad..."

The voices were becoming more and more distant, and the shapes were barely there anymore.

"Next time you see him, tell _Spock that Jim says hello..."_

* * *

_What is it?_

_It's a boy._

_Let's call him Jim._

_I love you so-_

_Your father was the Captain of a starship for twelve minutes._

_He saved eight _hundred lives.

I dare you to do better.

Jim woke with a gasp, his eyes darting around wildly.

He was in a hospital room.

How did he get there?

He looked around, trying to remember.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, you were barely dead." Bones said as he approached Jim, running a small scanner over his face. "It was the transfusion that really took its toll. You were out cold for two weeks."

Two weeks?

But... he'd only been in the afterlife place for barely an hour. "Transfusion?"

"Your cells were heavily irradiated, we had no choice."

Oh, no. "Khan?"

"Once we caught him, I synthesized a serum from his super blood. Tell me, are you feeling, uh, homicidal? Power mad? Despotic?"

"No more than usual."

Bones laughed a bit at that.

"How'd you catch him?"

"I didn't."

For the first time, Jim noticed Spock standing near the back of the room. He walked towards the bed, and Jim smiled weakly, somewhat glad that he was too weak to move because otherwise he might've just kissed the half-Vulcan right there.

"You saved my life."

"Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know."

Jim rolled his eyes.

"You saved my life, Captain. And the lives of-"

"Spock, just..." Jim sighed, then smiled. "Thank you."

If he didn't know better, Jim would've sworn that Spock had smiled.

"You are welcome, Jim."

* * *

"There will always be those who mean to do us harm. To stop them, we risk awakening the same evil within ourselves. Our first instinct is to seek revenge when those we love are taken from us. But that's not who we are."

Jim paused for a moment, looking out at the crowd. "We are here today to rechristen the U.S.S Enterprise, and to honor those who lost their lives nearly one year ago. When Christopher Pike first gave me his ship, he had me recite the Captain's Oath, words I didn't appreciate at the time. Now I see them as a call for us to remember who we once were, and who we must be again. And those words?"

Jim paused for another moment, then smiled as he began.

"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Her five-year mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go, where no one has gone before."

* * *

The doors opened to the bridge as Jim stepped inside.

"Captain on the bridge!" Chekhov stated happily, looking much more comfortable now that he was back in his gold shirt.

Jim sincerely hoped that the poor kid hadn't gotten some sort of stress-related ulcer after all the shit he went through in his brief stint as chief engineer.

He looked over at his chair, smiling mischievously when he saw Sulu still sitting in it.

"It's hard to get out once you've had a taste," He started as he walked towards the chair. "Isn't that right, Mr. Sulu?"

Sulu got up nearly immediately. "Captain does have a nice ring to it. Chair's all yours, sir."

Jim smiled at him, then pressed a button on the comm link. "Mr. Scott. How's our core?"

"Purring like a kitten, Captain! She's ready for a long journey."

"Excellent." Jim said as he hung up, walking over to Bones. "C'mon, Bones, it's gonna be fun!" He said as he clapped him on the shoulders.

"Five years in space... God help me." Bones mumbled.

"Dr. Marcus! Glad you could join us!"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Captain Kirk." She replied, smiling as she passed him.

He smiled back, then turned to his first officer.

"Spock."

"Captain."

"How's our littlest crew member?"

The door to the bridge slid open. "See for yourself, Captain." Uhura said as she brought Alice inside.

Jim grinned, taking his daughter from her. "I didn't know that they made mini-Starfleet uniforms. Or... that they came in green..."

Uhura simply winked at him and headed for her post.

"Dada! Sah-me!" Alice cooed happily, reaching for Spock from Jim's arms.

"It is 'sah-mek', little one."

"Spock, let it go, she's not even two yet."

"Proper pronunciation is important regardless of age, Captain. It can mean the difference between-"

"Spock," Jim interrupted, "That was a joke."

Alice giggled at her father's expression. "Silly!"

"Yes, Alice, your sah-mek is very silly."

Spock rolled his eyes.

"So, where should we go?" Jim asked as they looked out into space.

"As a mission of this duration had never been attempted before, I defer to your good judgement."

Jim smiled at him as he walked away, then sat down, Alice safely in his lap.

"Mr. Sulu? Take us out."

* * *

Meanwhile, on a planet far from them, a man was screaming. He struggled against the ropes binding his hands and feet, tried to gnaw away at the gag covering his mouth, but it was all for naught.

"I really am sorry for this, darling." A woman said as she hooked him up to a machine. "You know, I used to despise you for what you did to my family. Or rather, what you _would _do to my family if I were to allow you to live."

Slowly, the woman started to turn the crank on the machine, bringing the man up so that he was hanging by his feet.

"But as I got older, I realized that you were merely a pawn. A hitman, a hired gun." The man screamed, wiggling erratically. "Don't struggle, love, you'll just make it worse. Anyway, I can respect that you were just trying to make a living. Hell, I'm a paid assassin myself now!"

She laughed. He started to cry.

"But I'm afraid that I simply can't allow you to live." She pulled out a picture. "Because if I do, this man will die."

The man's eyes widened in realization.

"Yes, I know. Your newest assignment, right? Perhaps he rubbed the boss the wrong way? Oh, honey, I know that it's just a job to you, but I'm afraid that James T. Kirk is much more important to me than that. You see, where I come from, or rather, _when _I come from, you kill him. And, love, you should know..."

He screamed again, his cries muffled by the gag.

"Never get between a girl and her daddy, darling. And with that..." The woman grinned evilly, walking over to the nearby table and grabbing her cherished katana. "Off with your head!"

One swing, and the man's screams were forever silenced.

Alice smiled, more than a little melancholy. "Well. Seems I won't be getting back home, now, will I? Ah, well. There wasn't anything left there, anyway."

She turned on her heel, sheathing her katana as she walked away.

"I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it..." She sang softly. "That explains the trouble that I'm always in..."

**A/N: WOO! FINISHED ADAPTING INTO DARKNESS!**

**(And yes, the Alice thing will be explained. Later)**

**Remember to Review~!**


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